This article is the third and final part of a trilogy on success and happiness. It unfolds the natural connection between success and the road to happiness.
In the first part of this trilogy youâve been able to read about the difference between natural and forced moments of happiness and bliss and how you tend to lose yourself when you trie to (re)create a moment of bliss. The second article goes into the conditionality and how you become dependent whenever you lack inner trust and faith. This third and final article addresses why the road to success and happiness is empty and how to find your way back to your inner home.
Whenever you feel doubtful and feel a need for help (which is perfectly fine of course), then remember this article. When somebody promises you to show you the road to success, ask yourself: “Does this person truly care about my well-being? Whenever I do find my own road to success, and I do not need the help of this person anymore, will he or she be sincerely happy for me?”
True help does not come from someone who offers you a solution to your problems or a straight road to success, again and again. True help is given by someone who listens carefully to you, who tunes in to what you need and to what he or she can and cannot do for you. Someone who is honest and clear about his or her own humanity and shortcomings.
“True help is offered by someone who gives you space to grow.”
True help is given by someone who feels a heartfelt trust in you and supports you in (re)building your inner strength and courage, but does not tell you what to do. You need to walk by yourself. Otherwise it never becomes your road. True help is offered by someone who gives you the space you need to grow and who is there for you whenever you need a hand through your darkest moments of despair and doubt, while you continue to walk by yourself. True help is given by someone who invites you and inspires you to reach out towards yourself.
The road to success and happiness is empty
As we all long to feel safe, we all have a need for success. We all need to do well, feel well and feel that we belong. But the road to success is empty: no-one can show youÂ the road to your success for its an inner road that is connected with your instincts, needs, feelings, desires and inspiration. And that makes your road to success personal, very personal. It needs to be paved step by step with experiences that restore your inner faith and self-confidence.
Your need for success is therefore an invitation to listen to yourself. It is an invitation to get to know yourself better. To learn about your true desires and dreams, your true longings and needs in life. It is an invitation to get to know the enormous impact your instincts have on your daily lives. And it is an invitation to learn how to deal with your unease, grief, loneliness, selfpity and anger in a way that is constructive to your health.
“You feel sincerely safe and at ease when you connect in depth with who you are.”
For you will feel sincerely safe and at ease in life when you deeply connect to your inner home; with who you are. And that is present here and now. You don’t need to work hard. You need to listen to what is already present.
Of course that’s not always easy. You probably need to get used to the space that is already present. You need to get used to your feelings, your fears, your longings. But it is worth it. Once you get to know,Â express and trust yourself, you discover that you are able to realize and fulfill your own needs.
Just start very small. Tune in to what you would like to have for dinner today, go to the supermarket to get the ingredients and actually prepare your food yourself and eat it. It will taste very different once you become more aware of what you want and you pay more attention to the realization of it. To experience success in such a way, step by step, is such a healer of inner trust and self-confidence. You can truly take care of yourself!
Taking care of yourself is very similar to taking care of your success and happiness. It is the same empty road that can only be taken by you, step by step. The road to success and happiness is empty. It’s up to you to fill it.
Wendy Van Mieghem, psychotherapist, sociologist, teacher
The road to success and happiness is empty